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Why Clone Wars Sucks

October 11th, 2008

There was very little chance that I was going to like any new Star Wars project since everything since Empire has pretty much been downhill. The Clone Wars “movie” was a mess and the cartoon is just as bad. This comic from Lil Formers.com pretty much sums it up.

Clone Wars SUX!
Source: Lil Formers.com

Also, if you’re interested in hearing my internal monologue when I think of Episodes 1-3, watch the Zero Punctuation review of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed game. You don’t have to know anything about the game to understand just what he means (mostly because he spends half of the review bashing George Lucas). WARNING: Foul language and offensive content within. Not fit for work.

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  1. Rob
    October 11th, 2008 at 23:13 | #1

    Y’know, this whole “bashing” of George Lucas and riffing on Star Wars prequels and such…it’s all just been going on for so long now that I don’t find it funny or “cool” anymore. We get it…nothing since Empire has been what we wanted, hoped for or lived up to those expectations. But so what? It’s been said. It’s done. Let’s move on. Because there’s literally nothing original left to say.

    On the other hand, I loved what South Park did with “The China Probrem” which was to point out how stupid it is to say hyperbole of how Indiana Jones was “raped” and reminding us – with literal depiction – that being somewhat disappointing is NOT the same thing as sacrilege or, for that matter, any big deal at all!

    Here’s what bugs me – George Lucas gave us Star Wars. Who cares what happened after that?! He gave us something utterly amazing, timeless and literally world-changing – and while that sounds almost ridiculous, it is not hyperbole. But now, here we are, with all these people saying they hate him, that they’re disappointed by him or going so far as to figuratively take ownership of his creations and say that now he is ruining them!

    Talk about, “what have you done for me lately”.

    The prequels, The Clone Wars, whatever else is yet to come? None of them diminish the original Star Wars or the endless amounts of joy that the movie brought to so many of us. George Lucas is once and always responsible for that and for that I will always say he deserves a “thank you” and more than a basic level of respect.

    As for “The Clone Wars” in particular – I think the animation looks impressive for a weekly television program. In comparison to a feature movie from Pixar or Dreamworks, it obviously cannot hold up. So in the movie theater, it appears somewhat disappointing from a technical standard. But when compared to regular television animation, it looks rather amazing and I think it deserves credit for raising the technical bar in its intended medium.

    As for the stories and writing, I’m willing to simply let it tell its own story. This is, first and foremost, kids’ entertainment. I think people lose sight of that and I marvel somewhat at how strictly people expect things to follow canon. I think the obvious intent is to only have loose canon in the Star Wars Universe. Every different time and different medium holds only loose continuity. So I expect differences in personalities and tone even though the names may stay the same.

    It seems to me that people simply loved the original Star Wars so much that any growth or change is met with utter distaste. Empire lucked out by growing in a way that most people approved of. But after that, people hated the more simplistic and kid-friendly Return of the Jedi and wound up loathing the prequels, which I simply consider to be a COMPLETELY seperate story, even though the same universe construct is used to tell it.

    There’s no reason to hate. The original Star Wars remains as great as ever and George Lucas remains its creator. Some people enjoy the subsequent expansions to that original universe, but clearly, some people do not. But regardless of which side you fall on, have some respect because your opinion of a person ought to consider more than just “what have you done for me lately”.

  2. October 13th, 2008 at 19:50 | #2

    That zero punctuation review was absolutely hilarious. FWIW, I played the Xbox 360 demo for 30 minutes, got bored, and promptly deleted it from the system…

    I do, however, hope that I can enjoy the Clone Wars TV series – which I have not yet seen.

  3. October 16th, 2008 at 09:18 | #3

    Rob – if Michelangelo decided to paint the Sistine Chapel part Deux out of feces featuring stick figures in lewd positions, I’d have the same reaction. GL can pump out as much crap as he wants, just don’t call it Star Wars.

    Also, I agree that the animation for a weekly show is awesome on Clone Wars. I’ve watched a few episodes and the ones without Anakin are actually pretty good. But when you add Anakin and knowing what we know about him, it makes it impossible to enjoy. Better to have just Obi with Anakin a side character or a completely new main character.

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