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Marketing People are Pod People

July 25th, 2007

Is this a speaker?It doesn’t take long to realize that marketing people don’t come from the same gene pool as the rest of us. Blonde hair, blue eyes, chiseled physiques, vapid stares, marketing plans that make absolutely no sense… they all add up to a whole new species. Case in point, I’m going to a press event next month for a speaker manufacturer. I won’t mention the name but the event is held in Boston. Now this Acoustics company is announcing, um, something I guess, I have no idea. Gene asked if I wanted to go and I lied and said yes. The same day he asked I got in the mail, from the marketing firm I suppose, a lobster bib and two lobster crackers. Hey, I’m all about lobster so maybe this isn’t such a bad idea right?

OK, so I’m working with the dude that is scheduling my fight (who, by the way, refused to do it over the phone so what would take 5 minutes is taking two weeks and numerous emails) and he keeps scheduling them over the dinner. Dude, the whole selling point for me is the dinner so I’m getting a little irritated. Of course, these things are full of useless giveaways (I got the full financial report from B&O when I visited them – like I care) and they want to know what size windbreaker I want.

Um… live in Florida… I have no idea. And am I going to need one? Why would I want one? Where are you taking me that I’ll be needed a windbreaker? I don’t know what the weather is like in Boston at night (right now nights are in the high 60’s) but I wasn’t under the impression that it was going to be that cool.

On top of that I get a box from them today. Was it the windbreaker? No. Lobster pot. Oh, yeah, that’s what I said; lobster pot. So I’ve got a bib, crackers, and a pot. At this point I’m not convinced that I’m going to be eating lobster at all during this trip. Any moment now I’m expecting an old salt to knock on the door with a dilapidated wooden crate full of lobster. “Arg… ‘Ere be yer Lobster, matie!” Which would be cool as I like cooking lobster but if they were just going to send me some, they could have skipped the flight, sent me the lobster, and lined the crate with the press releases as far as I’m concerned.

Now, to truly understand this, we must look at the big picture. Someone over there at that marketing firm said, “People will come if we tell them that lobster is involved.” Obviously this is true. But then it got taken to the illogical extreme. Do they just say, “Come and you’ll get lobster?” No. They’ve got to send you something that makes you realize they are offering lobster (bib and crackers). That’s cool and I can understand that. But someone said, “If we are sending them lobster crackers and bibs, we should send them a lobster pot too!”

To quote a caveman, “Um… what?”

This isn’t a small pot. It isn’t dainty. It’s 13.5” across and 8.5” high and holds 19 quarts (18 liters) of liquid. The scary part? There’s a lip at the bottom that indicates that this pot is meant to be set inside an even larger pot! By the time this whole ordeal is done, I might have a full Red Lobster in my cupboards! And, if I may ask the obvious, what exactly has all this to do with speakers? Maybe they are putting out a waterproof speaker that can be boiled? Using a new enclosure made out of recycled lobster shells? Maybe their new tweeter goes so high only lobsters can hear it. I don’t know. All I know is there is going to be one bitter Tom at the end of this if I don’t eat my body weight in lobster on this little trip.

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  1. July 25th, 2007 at 15:21 | #1

    I’m guessing you’ll get a package from LiveLob next… dang. I should have sent you with Gene to the Denon thing (lame) and went to Boston for some lobster (yum).

    If they send you pot(s) and no lobster then their marketing people are beyond stupid. Expect some main lobster.

    If there is one thing I’ve learned about marketing people and these trips it’s “Don’t be afraid to put them out a bit”. If they set up something that makes no sense, make them change it. It’s their money and you can always say “You know, this isn’t working for me,” or “Something just came up.” It’s their job to make sure the arrangements are kosher.

    This Denon trip to NJ was a prime example – we flew in and out so fast we didn’t have time to do any of the fun stuff that the rest of the press had lined up – we were too busy running back and forth to the airport. Missed dinners, missed half the demo presentation. All cause some attractive brunette with no sense got the job of arranging our flights and hotel. Why our arrangements were so different I have no idea, except that most people come from NY or LA. We’re crackers, apparently so we don’t count.

    I’m learning that we need to be at least a little ‘prima donna’ about these things… and that Gene and I are going to take less of these trips.

  2. July 25th, 2007 at 16:04 | #2

    BTW, that is the EXACT pot they sent me. Clint, you’ve seen my kitchen (it’s tiny)… where the heck am I supposed to put that thing?!?

  3. July 25th, 2007 at 20:55 | #3

    I agree with Clint, I am ALL ABOUT controlling my travel plans when at all possible, such as CEDIA. Oh wait, nevermind. (“How do I explain to them that as a result of the unfreezing process I have no inner monologue?”)

    As for the marketing swag, I have to admit, I dig that. No, it doesn’t necessarily make sense, but I am all about the swag and the creative ideas. Sometimes they are cool, sometimes not so much, but I dig it. You’re going to Boston, everyone thinks lobster when you go to Boston, so that’s kinda cool. But I can totally appreciate that Tom thinks it’s stupid.

    : )

  4. July 25th, 2007 at 22:22 | #4

    I don’t think it is stupid, I think it is weird. Crackers and a bib were cool. The pot is just weird.

  5. egr2rst
    July 26th, 2007 at 10:56 | #5

    Remember, you’re going to Boston.
    Lobster rhymes with mobster.
    Lobsters live on the bottom of the ocean.
    You better “eat up” their speakers and don’t spill any on the front of your shirt.
    All makes sense to me — except for the crackers.

  6. July 26th, 2007 at 11:36 | #6

    The lobster bib and crackers was very cool. It made me really want to go. The Pot is ridiculous. Who boils lobsters anyways? I always clean, stuff and bake mine as they taste so much better that way. Its more work but its worth it.

  7. avaserfi
    July 26th, 2007 at 11:38 | #7

    I knew you guys were paid millions to review!!! Eatting lobster everynight!

    You should try to halve the lobster sometime and broil it. Very simple but with fresh lobster it is amazing, all you need to do besides that is serve with clarified garlic, lemon or a mix of both butter.

  8. July 26th, 2007 at 11:43 | #8

    I actually did a lobster cook-off with a friend one time and we baked, stuffed, grilled, steamed and boiled lobsters (there was a sale at the time). Universally the boiled was preferred. That may have something to do with all the stuff I added to the water though.

    Clint’s convinced that I’m getting a live lobster soon. If that is the case, then perhaps this little marketing ploy wasn’t so lame. But serious, that pot is huge. I’ll need at least 3 lobsters (if not more) to fill it up 🙂

  9. July 26th, 2007 at 11:52 | #9

    Is is just me, or has this AV blog thread been hi-jacked by a bunch of foodies??!!!

  10. avaserfi
    July 26th, 2007 at 12:27 | #10

    Hmm…A lobster cook off if only people in Iowa knew that red lobster wasn’t the only source of sea food hah, food is why I miss Texas.

  11. July 26th, 2007 at 15:45 | #11

    You guys should weld the two lobster pots together, cut a circular hole in one end, throw in a sub and put an amp on the side. Better not port the new lobster pot sub, it might have some nasty side effects. Yeah, you guys can sell these things out of the back of a white van or something? The new Lobwoofer! It’s the best sound you can get from two pots stuck together!

  12. July 26th, 2007 at 15:46 | #12

    Tom and I are on the phone discussing the idea of a Lobster Sub, and you post this!!! LOL

  13. July 26th, 2007 at 16:33 | #13

    Boiled can be good but man nothing like stuffing a lobster with breadcrumbs, seasoning, Parmesan cheese, garlic, etc. I hate the way most resturants prepare lobster, especially when they don’t clean the guts out. Mmm, I think I will be having lobster pretty soon.

    If they do send you lobsters, than I will be steamed (LOL) that I didn’t accept their invite 🙂

  14. egr2rst
    July 26th, 2007 at 16:38 | #14

    Remember I’m coming down there next weekend, If I don’t get lobster – I’m cutting you out of my will.

  15. July 27th, 2007 at 09:27 | #15

    I’d like to take this time to thank Boston Acoustics for providing the topic that has spawned the longest thread (to date) on AVRant…

  16. egr2rst
    July 27th, 2007 at 13:39 | #16

    I think it’s the lobster.
    Be real, it was a very good article written by Tom.
    Great job.

  17. July 27th, 2007 at 15:19 | #17

    Nothin’ like getting a pat on the back from your dad. Thanks Dad 🙂

  18. Giada
    July 27th, 2007 at 15:40 | #18

    Wonderful ideas! Fabulous recipes! Who knew you boys had it in you? Personally, I prefer Focaccia Lobster Rolls myself.

    I love the podcast! Keep up the good work. (Dina, I don’t know how you put up with him…)

  19. July 27th, 2007 at 15:49 | #19

    Just so you know, the first time your Dad calls me to tell me you deserve a raise I’m firing your butt! lol

  20. July 27th, 2007 at 16:13 | #20

    Giada’s teeth are fake. Those choppers can’t be real.

  21. July 27th, 2007 at 16:35 | #21

    they’re real, and they’re SPECTACULAR!!!

  22. July 27th, 2007 at 17:31 | #22

    That chick is an alien. I can’t watch her show. That smile makes me think the “Cookbook” she’s writing is entitled, “To Serve Man”.

  23. majorloser
    July 27th, 2007 at 19:40 | #23

    Did somebody say lobster at Tom’s house?

    Be there in a couple hours with the beer 🙂

  24. July 27th, 2007 at 19:44 | #24

    See, Dad, he’s bringing beer!

  25. majorloser
    July 28th, 2007 at 16:19 | #25

    That’s what friends are for 😉

  26. egr2rst
    July 30th, 2007 at 10:49 | #26

    Tom definitely deserves a raise, and a big one!
    Did you get the lobster?
    How much beer?

  27. majorloser
    August 1st, 2007 at 19:14 | #27

    If the lobster don’t get there, the beer doesn’t go for a drive North 😛

  28. egr2rst
    August 7th, 2007 at 11:39 | #28

    Lobster, 0
    Beer, 2
    Maw Maw, 1
    Punkalicious and Capt. Evil, priceless

  29. August 7th, 2007 at 17:12 | #29

    My flight leaves around 1pm the day after tomorrow. Doesn’t look like there is any lobster in my future.

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