the part of me that enjoys going to the movie theatre.
And I donâ€™t understand how or when it happened. And this is NOT about sticky floors or bad sound. The kids and I went to see the latest Harry Potter flick yesterday. It was a very pleasant experience for a theatre. Floors were clean enough (my flip flops came with me when I got up to leave), no gummy bears stuck to the screen or rips or holes for that matter, not a lot of people in the theatre with us and no crying babies or rudely talking adults, surround sound was working and was synced (that word SO doesnâ€™t look right) up the video, and the movie was in focus. So whatâ€™s the problem?
I DONâ€™T KNOW! We do the home theatre thing because we like the theatre experience â€“ big and loud! This was as good as it is going to get. And yet, I kept looking at my watch. It was a good movie, one that I enjoyed thoroughly. I donâ€™t go to the theatre often, but when I do it is always the same. I feel antsy. Trapped. WHY? I can later see the very same movie in the comfort of my own home and feel relaxed and happy. What has happened to me?
As much as it pains me to say, I do owe him one. J. has been installing Auralex Acoustics wall treatments ALL OVER the walls of the theatre. First of all, the theatre is only 14 feet by 15 feet. ALL the cool movie posters have come down and no less than 22!!! panels are now lining the walls. TWENTY-TWO, PEOPLE!!! That is one panel for every 2.6 feet of wall, for those of you interested in the math. Aurlex should include a straight jacket for the wife in the purchase price because it is SOOOOOOOOOO padded cell. Donâ€™t get me started on the six honey-comb-wooden contraptions that will be suspended by wires from the ceiling!!! And donâ€™t even ask me what purpose THEY serve. THEY HAVE HOLES IN THEM!!!
Now, admittedly I donâ€™t give my husband a lot of grief about the theatre, but I have almost gotten my eyes stuck in the back of my skull from all the eye rolling I have done over this. Mainly, because I couldnâ€™t image it would make that much of a difference for all the work and the look.
Then, a couple of days ago I was walking through the house and yelling my sonâ€™s name in an attempt to locate him as motherâ€™s often do. I walked into the theatre to pick something up and shouted my sonâ€™s name.
It was just plain weird. No echo. No echo AT ALL. Just my voice, then nothing. I stood there yelling things until my ten-year-old rounded the corner with furrowed brow, full of concern asking, â€œMom, are you O.K?â€
I answered, â€œNo, I am not. Your dad was right and I am wrong and that makes me decidedly NOT O.K.â€
Tom and I taped podcast #2 this morning and it was not without incident. Sheeesh! First, a little historyâ€¦
Tom and I donâ€™t live in the same city. Tom and I donâ€™t even live in the same state. Tom and I talk via Skype once a week, each taping our half of the podcast which Tom later flawlessly edits together.
The first podcast we ever did (in April) was preceded by one phone conversation between Tom and me. Didnâ€™t know him. Didnâ€™t have any idea exactly how this whole thing worked. Didnâ€™t have a clue what anyone wanted from me. A listen to it will make this all too clear.
The second podcast was taped with Clint (Audioholics Editor) in the room with Tom. However, throughout that one we apparently just rambled on (I wouldnâ€™t know, I never heard it and neither will you it was so bad.) We strayed off topic so often it was unusable. Tom took the hit for that one (and I let him) for not keeping us on topic.
Ever since J. started working with Audioholics, I have heard Gene’s name thrown around quite a bit. Mostly little offhand comments that made me aware that he was out there. I have never met him or had a conversation with him. J. tells me he is real. But J. also told me that putting Auralex Acoustics wall treatments all over (and I do mean ALL OVER) the wall AND CEILING of our home theatre would make it look cool. (Think crazy-room-padded-cell to get the picture, but that is another rant…)
I noticed this morning that Gene, or someone posing as Gene, commented on the podcast. Gene, to me, is like the Wizard of Oz. Does he really exist? Is it all smoke and mirrors? Is he really out there with he magical geek powers running the show? Or is Clint the man behind the curtain writing reviews and commenting on podcasts in Gene’s name? The jury is still out…
As we were climbing into bed last night, J. says (and I quote), â€œThe UPS man has a great idea about what color we should paint the front doorâ€¦â€ Stop right there.
Are you really so tight with the Mr. UPS that he is now giving you home improvement/decorating advice and you are taking it? When did this happen? I mean, I am aware that these delivery people are walking up my front steps several times a week bringing pieces of gear to review, but when did all this bonding happen? I know the peeling, fading green door needs some help. I know Mr. UPS sees a fair share of doors and probably has some wisdom to offer there. I respect his opinion but Iâ€™m just curiousâ€¦when did the line get crossed?
Mrs. FedEx came to the door a couple weeks ago and said to me, â€œHe hasnâ€™t gotten any speakers lately. Has he moved on to something else?â€ How does she know this???? Is it like when you are dating some girl and itâ€™s all very casual and fun and you finally have the â€œDTR Talk.â€ (Define the Relationship.) The I-like-you-a-lot-do-you-like-me? talk. We-are-dating-just-each-other-now talk. Is it a moment where after the comment on the weather Mr. UPS pauses, â€œWhatâ€™s in the boxes?â€ Or does it just morph and happen and the next thing you know heâ€™s talking exterior paint colors.
Boys, help me out. Define your relationship with your delivery peeps. Do you know their names? Do they know what you do? Whatâ€™s up with all this? Reviewerâ€™s wives: Do you see these bizarre things happening on your front steps?
By the way, due to extensive hours of sun exposure to the front door, Mr. UPS suggested a lighter color, something in a khaki to match the trim on the windows. And heâ€™s right. Sigh.